


Press Pause

by asllapiscu



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Match Zine, M/M, Time Loop, Zine Work, can connect to my other work 'Familiar Reset' but it can also stand alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26179957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asllapiscu/pseuds/asllapiscu
Summary: Kiriya said he started this to find a way to take down Kuroto and avenge his fallen friend. But how much of that is truth, actually? After all, one of the conditions of the deal he struck involved protecting Emu Hojo with everything he has.No matter times he relives the same days again and again, why does it always end the same? Of picturing Emu's smiling face?It's a shame that in the end, he couldn't even save that.
Relationships: Houjou Emu/Kujou Kiriya
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Press Pause

**Author's Note:**

> i meant to post this foreverrrrrr ago but memory and life sure makes you forget huh
> 
> anyway, this was my piece for the Best Match Zine! preorders are closed but I hope you enjoy my emukiriya piece <3
> 
> it'll be fun (:

At this point, it’s comically a routine.

Kiriya was sure of one thing and one thing only: he needs to break the cycle, and  _ soon. _ He’s drumming his fingers against the table in the Cyber Rescue meeting room, holding his head up with a propped hand. He’s been sitting here for about half an hour now, his mind racing with different strategies, methods and schemes - but none of it seems to work out in his head. He sighs and ends up leaning back in his chair.

He’s met with a familiar smile.

He smiles back.

“Hey Ace,” Kiriya keeps his smile up as he straightens his back out. He keeps his eyes on Emu, watching him round the table, placing two cups of coffee down. Kiriya could nearly melt at the smell of it, realizing he needed it more than he’d care to admit. When he looks back over to Emu, he shrugs in response.

“You’ve been sitting up here just  _ thinking _ for days. Thought you needed a coffee break.”

“You don't say,” Kiriya grabs his cup, winking, and takes a careful sip. He knows it’s hot, it's  _ supposed _ to be - but after so many resets, he’s gotten too used to scalding coffee.

“What are you even thinking about anyway?” Emu asks as he takes a seat across from Kiriya, staring at him. Ah, of course, the reason Emu always brings the coffee - to interrogate him. It’s something Kiriya has noticed from each reset how Emu never really changes around him. Emu always worries, always helps, always smiling. 

Always  _ there. _

Kiriya takes a sip of his coffee.

“Oh, you know.”

“I don’t actually, that’s why I’m asking,” Emu’s tone sounds almost casual, but Kiriya can feel the coldness in it. Which tells him Emu is feeling more worried than usual, and he already knows which path this reset will take. He doesn’t have much time left.

“You found anything else on the virus?” Kiriya asks instead, trying to make it sound natural. When he sees Emu’s expression shift, Kiriya knows he took the bait. 

“That’s what you’ve been thinking about? You’re overworking yourself Kiriya-san…” Emu sighs and leans back in his chair. He’s staring up at the ceiling and Kiriya can feel his body turn cold for what might happen next. “You need to take a break… Why don’t we - ”

Kiriya immediately gets up and grabs his jacket. He flips his shades on and walks right for the staircase, making a peace sign with his hand.

“I’ll check in with the others then, see if they’ve found anything.”

“Kiriya-san -”

“Bye Ace.”

Kiriya pretends he doesn’t see the disappointment on Emu’s face. It hurts too much to think about.

  
  
  


> **_“I won’t regret making this wish.”_ **

  
  


Kiriya has been stuck in reset after reset, trying to find a way to get rid of Kuroto once and for all. He doesn't care how many times he has to die and make Emu forget about him -

Except maybe he does care, a little bit.

Kiriya was never one to risk his life for anyone but for the sake of his research. He feels responsible, after all. He blames himself nearly every day for Jungo's death. This endless cycle, searching for a cure, trying to stop Kuroto - it should all be for a different reason. 

But he made a deal. Kuroto won't touch Emu; in fact he'll let Emu forget about each reset so he doesn't have to remember Kiriya dying every time. Kiriya will stay in this cycle until he can manage to break it by accomplishing his goals. As long as Emu's safe...

_ Emu Hojo. _

Kiriya chuckles to himself, wondering when he got so caught up over an attraction. It's dangerous, he knows it is. But something about Emu gives Kiriya hope. Every time Emu smiles, Kiriya feels the weight of his consequences slowly becoming lighter.

He doesn't blame himself as much for Jungo's death.

He doesn't consider each reset a failure anymore, but an experience and a chance to do better.

No, Emu has shown Kiriya, whether he knows it or not, that Kiriya's growing. With each reset, Kiriya becomes more determined than ever to achieve his goal.

And maybe, at the end, he can finally go get that meal Emu promised him the first time around. Just maybe.

Kiriya doesn't regret his choice at all.

  
  
  


> **_“Was I a fool to believe in those lies?”_ **

  
  


Kiriya starts to notice something different with the most recent resets. He's struggling to recall parts from the earlier cycles, forcing himself to sit down and write everything down into a journal now. He’s unsure if it’s a side effect from having gone through so many resets already, but he has a bad feeling about this. He’s not getting any closer to taking Kuroto down and he’s already starting to forget things… It doesn’t feel right.

He has to face  _ God _ himself, then.

This scene has played out too many times for his own liking: he meets with Kuroto, they have some dialogue of the current timeline they’re in, and they fight. They’re no longer Kiriya or Kuroto - but Lazer and Genm.

Lazer could swear he’s been getting better at handling Gemn in battle, after fighting him  _ so many times. _ But this time, Lazer finds himself forgetting all the strategies and tactics he’s adapted over time. He can’t imagine why. It’s  _ frustrating, _ especially when Genm does that manic laugh of his.

“What’s wrong,  _ Kujo? _ Starting to  _ forget?” _

Kiriya’s eyes go wide under his helmet. He pushes Genm back and readies his sparrow. 

“What did you do?” Lazer’s voice is trembling with suspicion and anger. If he got tricked… 

But all Genm does is laugh again, making his strange gestures as he points directly at Lazer. 

“I never told you the full details of the contract, did I? Not that it matters now, anyway… You’re too late. You’ve used up all your lives.”

“What do you  _ mean?!” _ Lazer yells out as he runs right at Genm and shoots him with his sparrow. Genm defends himself, laughing more and more as he grabs and pushes Lazer off him, taking his gashat in the process. Kiriya untransforms and is no longer Lazer, feeling weak and drained. But Genm walks over and stomps hard on Kiriya’s abdomen, forcing him to release a grunt.

This is it. Another reset.

_ “Kiriya-san!” _

_ Fuck. Emu. _

“You’re too late,  _ Emu. _ But don’t worry, I’ll make sure you won’t forget this.”

_ What? _

“We had a deal,  _ God.” _

“Oh, the one where if I don’t touch Emu and make him forget every reset where you died? But that’s void if you run out of lives.”

“What do you mean run out of lives?” Emu’s voice is trembling, but it’s nowhere near meek. In fact, Kiriya’s sure he sensed anger laced in.  _ Shit. _

“Kujo already used up all 99 lives I’ve given him. All 99 to protect  _ you. _ How foolish,” Genm stomps on Kiriya again as he releases another yelp. Kiriya’s vision is starting to blur, but he can still make out Emu transforming into Ex-Aid. 

“I won’t let you hurt him anymore!” Ex-Aid exclaims as Kiriya feels the pressure from Genm be released. He coughs and tries to yell out Emu’s name, but it’s hopeless as his vision goes black.

  
  
  


> **_“Don’t you know you shouldn’t make a contract with God?”_ **

  
  
  


“Oho? You want to make the same contract? Just to save Kujo?”

Emu stares intensely at Kuroto. Both of them have untransformed after Kuroto offered Emu a deal. It’s the same deal Kuroto offered Kiriya.

_ “You’ll only have 99 lives. 99 tries to get it right. Is this what you really want?”  _

Emu clenches his fists at his sides and nods.

“I’ll finish what Kiriya started. I promised him I would.”

Kuroto raises a brow, recognizing that same phrase from another timeline.  _ How amusing. _ Kuroto offers a maniacal smile as he stretches out his hand.

“So we have a deal?”

Emu only stares at Kuroto’s hand for a moment before grasping it and shaking it firmly. Light comes out from the handshake, securing the contract, as Kuroto laughs. 

“Very well,  _ Emu Hojo.  _ I will reset this timeline with the same terms from Kiriya’s contract. Each time he dies, it’ll reset. Only this time, you’ll remember it all, and he’ll remember  _ none. _ But I’ll give you one advantage…”

Emu looks at Kuroto with surprise. Kuroto gives a smirk.

“Kiriya isn’t truly gone yet. You can spend his last moments together, and then I’ll reset and you can start your first attempt. Aren’t I so generous?”

Emu rolls his eyes and doesn’t even bother to look back at Kuroto as he sprints towards Kiriya, completely missing the mysterious glint or passing words Kuroto says to himself.

When Emu reaches Kiriya, he sees that the other man is passed out and barely hanging on. He’s so mad, so incredibly  _ mad _ at Kiriya for doing this. Why would he ever think risking his life over and over again for  _ him _ was a good idea? What an idiot…

He caresses Kiriya’s face, damp and wet from the rain still falling. Kiriya’s dying in his arms, and it feels so sickeningly familiar. This isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last time either. The pain he feels in his heart hurts more than he could ever imagine, and he’ll have to see this scene again and again until he can finish what Kiriya started.

Emu rests his forehead against Kiriya’s, closing his eyes.

“I’ll save you. I promise. I’ll break this cycle for the both of us.”

And before everything resets, Emu places a simple yet tender kiss on Kiriya. A small farewell but more of a “I’ll be back soon.” He’ll win, he’ll make sure of it. He’ll save Kiriya with everything he has.

  
  


> **_“With your hands, you can change fate.”_ **

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me as mythxl@twt !!


End file.
